Army life

2nd book out of army lo! Been in the army for 3 weeks and its a very roller coaster ride i guess. In army i really feel that i'm still a crybaby.

Ok firstly to clarify i'm in rocky hill camp, school 4 3rd Company Platoon 1. Also known as samurai. Actually army is interesting in that u really learn and do things that u will never do in ur life. Its just that i really feel i worry about too many random stuff that makes me very emotional. First time was like 2nd or 3rd day in camp when we had the first foot drill. I just find it very confusing and also very afraid that i will mess up constantly due to not used to hearing malay commands. Tried to tahan but eventually just broke down and went to talk to my Platoon Commander. Thankfully he was a very nice person and really helped me alot like telling me its normal to be blur about it and etc.

After that i can't really rmb if i cried anymore in camp but last wk when i book in cried on mrt again cause the difference in feeling is really just too great. To be booking in straight after going to my grandpa's celebration is really shitty since its like so happy and joyous and everyone there talking but i just have to leave and go back tekong already. Just cannot stop it lo.

After that is last wed, at night after the route march. Before the route march i was alrdy feeling unwell with slight fever but during the march i nearly puked. Tahan till the end but didn't finish water parade after cause too much alrdy. Then at night got punishment etc but i still tahan again. In the end when go back took temp its 38.1(after i drank cold water). Think i really feverish till not thinking straight also.

Most of the time i just take things too personally. Always thinking that i will do wrong stuff and cause others to be punished, taking prep talk by commanders to motivate us too seriously and in the end feel that ownself too weak and shitty, blaming myself why not strong enough. I really don't know my limits and always can't help but question myself is it really the best i can do?

Even now when i think back of my Platoon serg caught me slping and ask me to stand, i just feel so... afraid? Fearful nature and emo easily is a bad combi for army. Must man up, 5wks to be stronger b4 BMT kicks in. Haiz. Ippt this week, which just means my RT will start. Sat book out in sight.

Farewell Event

First, smt that has nth to do with my title of post. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERRICK NG ZI GEN! Lol yday was not at home anyway. Really need to start remembering people's bday instead of relying on FB. Zzzz

Anyway, yday went back to Ngee Ann for the 2nd last(most likely) time already. BEGV had a farewell dinner cum activities for us lah. Feels so bad that they spent so much money in the food. Seriously its too much food although everyone really enjoyed themselves. Const was the first senior to reach, at around 11plus? Followed by me at 12plus. Then boss and yana reached too followed by michelle. Then val and tim came while we were starting the NP catching. There are 3 groups of people who have a mission to find something at different areas while there will be a group of catchers trying to catch them. The catchers have to wear bells so that they cannot sneak up to the hiders/people with mission. Me boss and michelle together with some juniors were the catchers.

The game was super fun although tiring. The best group was constance that group lah super bluffers. Haven get caught they hide their stickers(have masking tape to identify caught anot) and fake kana caught then still can sit down and relac. Lol. After that i had to go bus stop help su take her steamboat and then tgt with winn and a junior we met there we went back to Loft loh. Had to start preparing and cooking the food le.

Then is eating time loh! Haha eat for 2 hours plus liddat. So scary all of us haha. Then after that slacked awhile with tim val ariff yana const in the room. Then we went up to Level 10 de rooms to bath. First time go up so high sia hahahah! Then bath, played card games and then also played dota AI. After that is go into room and chit chat until 3plus in the morn b4 everyone went to slp.

Then after that is wake up and clearing of the rooms. Sent const home to AMK b4 cab back home. Too much barang barang to go home via mrt. Yup. I really like this kind of bonding sessions. So fun hahaha. Will definably miss this.

Yup so thats another post after such a long time haha!

End of Poly Lessons

So i'm finally back here at blogger. Decided to at the very least do a post to partially mark a milestone of my life. So last friday was the last day of my poly school life. Only the exams are left which is 4 papers. After that poly will be officially over for me.

I still don't know whether i made the right choice back then choosing Environmental and Water technology but i can confidently say that going into this course had a really big effect on me. In a sense i'm lucky because i have a very kind and good clique who really helped me in my studies. They are a very cute bunch of girls that can crack jokes and laugh like mad over any single thing. Hahaha!

Being in EWT for 3 years, met so many different people in Ngee Ann, whether they dun like me, acted like they friendly with me but actually also hate me or dun like me but i'm too stupid to realize. Guess this really reflects on how i am i guess. In these last few weeks i keep analyzing people, their character and etc. I guess i'm just trying to at the very least dun make new or worst enemies i guess.

Leaving NP the thing i will miss the most is when we all went for the different events that was organized. Standard Chartered Marathon, OCBC cycle, Clean and Green week, Singapore Junior water prize etc. We always complain that those events were tiring and boring and etc but at the end of it all we really enjoyed ourselves, to be truthful. Even if i go uni i doubt i will be going for these events as a volunteer already, the most is as participants.

As we move on in life we leave behind more and more things. Friends, juniors, teachers and all. Really feels sad now that i'm really gonna leave soon.

So yeah, duno what else i wan to write about so that's about it. Think after exams will do another post bah.

To you my friend, may you rest in peace.

On 24th Dec, i saw from Facebook that a primary school friend of mine, Glen Chia, had passed away. I thought it was joke, but seeing so many people posting RIP on his wall and another primary school friend confirming it, i really felt a heavy sadness. I know people might ask "But hey he's ur PRI sch friend, were u guys even in touch etc etc." To me i think it doesn't matter, since once upon a time we were friends. It is only a courtesy that we do our best to at least give him our last respect. Although i couldn't enter his wake due to religious issues, i went to the area beside his wake and paid my respect, i hoped he had received it. He was a kind person whom i believed had many friends who loved him. I believe that he must have been facing very difficult problems.

The only and clearest memory i had of him was when some of us(i can't rmb who already)went to his house to play Little Fighter2 on his computer. I rmb the 4 of us, all squeezed tgt and playing on the same keypad. Back then i didn't have anything and playing little fighter2 was already a great enjoyment. I will always kip this piece of memory with me, to remind me that once i had a friend called Glen who left before me but he will never be forgotten.

To you, my friend, I hope you will have a safe journey to wherever u want to be and maybe u be happy wherever you are. Rest In Peace. From your Primary sch friend Tan Wei Lei.

Death to all that oppose Homework

Well long weekend is retarded stupid and fucked up. I rather DON'T HAVE THAT FUCKING LONG WEEKEND and have lesser RETARDED WORK THAT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO. Cheebye.


I myself felt the difference in my attitude this semester. But i doubt its gonna change much or even soon. The max is i must control and not let it harm other people. I think i need some cheap yet easily disposed of and easily bought stuff. So that i can throw them when i so angry. The thing is, i duno am i angry at the work or at the me that duno how to do that work.

"to journey into the unknown is a form of courage". Wanna take a guess at what i mean? Hah. Eat shit long weekend.

Stuck at 205 or thats the max blogger can go?

Duno i keep seeing number of posts at 205. Is that the max for blogger? Was reading my previous post and realize that its totally incoherent. Joke. Maybe its cause i can be talking about 3 different things in one paragraphs.

Today deepavali, stayed at home and rotted. Duno why my internet being retarded and dropping to 1mbs. Can't help but think that its a method singtel use to force people to upgrade their broadband.. From a 54mbps to 1 mbps?? Cannot be right. Or is my router cocking up liaoz? Basically internet being screwed. Simple.

I think i'm having a very serious bout of anger problems. Whenever i'm doing a particular module i will lose my temper one. Fuck man so stress over it. Duno why. Work is a chore and studying is a chore. Being a human is a chore. Be an ant queen is the best, u just nid to kip laying eggs and ur serviced all the time. Just that u can't move.

Tomorrow gonna go const house do that ECM project. Dun even know if can finish anot at the rate we going. Still nid to find examples for the IWT. Feel like dying. Go bungee jump and cut off the safety line or rubber band whatever u call it. Can't sleep well nowadays. Cannot slp early and wake up early.

My computer also very hot. Wonder whats wrong. No wait more like what's NOT wrong. Haiz

Weird?

Ehhh weird i swear i thought i posted on the day we started school? Funny... Hmm oh well. YAY I have such GAY LUCK AT MH TODAY!!!! I caught TEN Primal mouse from 4am to 6pm. Considering the catch rate was 23% ITS GAY! Lol.

Ok since that last post was mysteriously gone.... School this semester is gonna destroy me. At least 2 modules i cannot seem to comprehend. Groups this time round was kinda chaotic... So fast paced and soon tests will be coming?? Hmm saw that daxino and liping went for the Hippos AGM. Lol but the few of us nv go. So bad.

I really don't know whats wrong with me anymore. I can't understand what the teacher is talking. I can't focus after 2 hours of listening to them talking. How to survive this last semester? Haiya.

Just thinking that everyone has their own habits and feelings. Sometimes we tend to take things for granted and leave it to other people to solve. Short term we gain from it but eventually people will get angry and start to develop bad feelings. We should all reflect and not take things for granted anymore.

Plus on a side note today maybe cause MH so heng my slipper decided to gave up on me. At least its before i enter the MRT station. So went to BATA to buy a $5 slipper. Cheapo right haha. Oh well.

Haiz good luck to all Third Year students, no matter NP SP RP TP or NYP.